From Thoughts Upon the Throne


Will The Real Don Please Stand Up!
by Maynard Alexander

 

Ok, first of all I admit to being on pain meds, for the surgery on my left quad is only a week old, but I am still cognitive enough to recognize bovine fecal material when I see it.

And the Donald Trump we are seeing is a big pile of bovine fecal material. And its all by design.

Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground and I won't back down
Tom Petty via AZLyrics.com

First, let me say this: I have a disdain for politicians, especially on the federal level. Often it seems their needs or the needs of campaign financiers/backers supersede the needs or will of the people. For example, do you recall telling your state representative or Senator they have the privilege of voting themselves a raise, vacation time, and despite a six figure salary, receive stipends for living, eating & travel expenses paid for by OUR tax dollars? No neither do I, but its true, yet we point the finger at the present and past presidents for all our problems when the one true constant has been Congress.

Yet I digressed...I'm talking about Cartoon Trump vs. The Real Don.

Cartoon Trump is the one we are seeing lately. Why? So he gets attention! There is no such thing as bad publicity, and as long as he bashes President Obama and the current political establishment, we are going to see Cartoon Trump for sometime to come. He is saying all the right things to stir up controversy, and as it was once put by another successful businessman...controversy creates cash.

Our political system as it stands allows Trump and all the other contenders to garner oodles of money the government doesn't exactly watch like a hawk. If you recall, a few years back Stephen Colbert created his own Super PAC which addressed this very issue and we as viewers learned a lot.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cet3NcNNSc4 Not only did we laugh our butts off at the name of his organization (Americans For a better Tomorrow, Tomorrow,) we also cringed when we heard how much money was being spent for campaigns and how there isn't exactly a tremendous amount of governmental oversight on how it is spent.

So Trump is gathering oodles of cash that is essentially his win or loose, and knowing Trump, that money will be invested wisely.

Which is the genius which is Donald Trump.

You really think he meant all those negative low blows at Latin Americans, when he is a businessman and the last I checked Latinos in American and beyond our borders have money? You really think he means all that crap he is tossing at Megan Kelley of Fox News, which could hurt him with women at the polls and with Fox? And do you really think he doesn't have a plan to fix America, and instead relies on political jabs and name calling?

Well, you would be half right. For Cartoon Trump is living it up with his personal Daffy Duck moment. But, remember, while goofy, Daffy Duck was no dummy. Trump is enjoying this political sparring with his fellow conservatives. He's the man to beat right now and for good reason.

But the Real Don...he's just waiting in the wings.

He reminds me of the Key & Peele Obama/Luther sketch. See, our president -hey bro, thought you were going to fix education and not muck it up more- is often accused by supporters and opponents as someone who is a tad too laid back. So Key & Peele decided to reveal an opposing view behind President Obama's sedate behavior. In the skits presented by the duo, Key portrays the personification of Obama's anger aka Luther, while Peele plays the president as a calm, cool customer. Check out this example as Luther responds to Clint Eastwood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwsOI89urnw

Same can be said of Cartoon Trump and The Real Don.

See we are getting Cartoon Trump now, so he stays the focal point of conversation, and gets lots of face time on Fox, & CNN. His bombastic ways keep him on the lips of Maddow, Limbaugh and Harris-Perry, while making guys like Gov Scott Walker -shouldn't be running when his state is in worse shape than when he began- Senator Rand Paul -just a bit too logical and robotic for the masses- and Dr. Ben Carson a brotha who so happens to be a neurosurgeon -come on man, you really think America is going to elect back to back African American Presidents? What are you smoking?- have to work twice as hard to outshine Trump. Combined with his own substantial wealth and the cash from his political backers, Cartoon Trump has the money, the heart and the panache to give his opponents on both sides a run for their money.

So the question of the moment is when will we see the Real Don?

If he wins the republican nomination or decides to run as an independent, the Real Don will emerge. Real Don is shrewd, smart and careful about what he says because negotiation is at the heart of politics as it is in business, and I would put my money on Real Don, cause Real Don will get things done. Real Don will have a plan and possibly lead us out from under the financial arm of China.

Only problem is, regardless of whether it is Cartoon Trump or the Real Don, he still won't be able to fix the real problem...Congress.

But its still cool to imagine him, during his initial State of the Union address, look around the room, and point at every legislator and say...

And what a glorious day that would be. But alas, it is merely a pain pill induced fantasy.

Yet one can say what one will about Donald Trump, at least The Don, real or cartoon is showing some testicular fortitude.

 All photos courtesy of Google Search, and links via youtube

It Sounded Like a Solid Plan at the Time
by Maynard Alexander















I mean really, the chair was light, I'd lost weight, been working out and was feeing great about turning 44 in under five days.

However, jumping off the back of a truck with said chair in my hand, will fail to weave its way into my forever growing tapestry of wise decisions, for it resulted in this...a torn quad.





No...that is not my leg. My leg is to sexy for this blog.






It was a hot July afternoon as my family and I moved into our new apartment. It was smaller than our previous abode, but we decided to go smaller considering the kids -J 13 and D 17- would be leaving the house soon, or if anything sporadically visiting home as they set out into adulthood, forging their own path in this world. So we choose an apartment at the border of Arlington and Grand Prairie Texas, a vibrant area, full of restaurants, movies and quick access to the either Dallas or Ft Worth. Our moving company was supplied to us by the website umoveforfree.com, which provided us with the first 2.5 hrs on the house, with anything beyond the given time frame, coming out of my pocket. I was cool, figuring since we were already packed, this would move swiftly, and if anything, I might have to drop around $100.00.

But then the movers came.

Now, before I go any further, let me say the moving company, the website and the movers themselves were highly accommodating, professional and polite. But when I tell you the young male duo sent to move us knew little if anything about moving...the young male duo sent to move us knew little if anything about moving.

They might as well have been current members of Congress

They were polite, helpful and hard working. They only worked slow when they had to figure out how to pack our things, which, no disrespect, took too long and occurred far too often. I watched them spend five minutes figuring out how to stack the bikes atop our washer and dryer. The frustrated looks pasted on their sweaty faces reminded me enduring mathematical problem after problem in high school geometry, only I assumed moving was a hell of alot simpler than geometry. Needless to say,  with my two and a half hour window slowly closing I contacted the moving company to settle this issue. The manager responded quickly and fairly took fifty off the cost incurred so far, but we still had to expedite the move to avoid any further charges. (In addition, the website's customer service department provided me with two $50.00 gift cards for my troubles.)

Which brings me to the reason why I am recovering form surgery.

My son and I got on the truck to help speed things up. It was getting late, I didn't want to spend any more money on this friggin move than I had to, and WWE Smackdown was coming on. So with visions of Sasha Banks and Paige dancing in my head, I easily hoisted one of my grandmother's antique chairs up into my arms, walked to the edge of the truck and jumped.

In the sport of pro-wrestling, I unknowingly committed a high risk maneuver.

Now my wife says the chair was heavy. I disagreed, but my surgeon -Dr. J. Pond in Arlington TX whom I highly recommend- said, just because it didn't seem heavy to a man my size, didn't mean it wasn't.

In addition, he, my wife and just about every friend, family members and stranger I knew politely reminded me I was 44...not 24.

Needless to say here I am, laid out in bed writing to maintain my sanity. You see my friend, writing can be cathartic, and soul cleansing in a way. So sharing my experience, is helping me heal and laugh about my folly, while hopefully amusing you.

In addition, this thunderous blunder has brought our family closer. The kids have been helpful and positive. My parents have been in my corner the whole time, and my wife...wow...I have to be on crutches and rehab for 4-6 months. She has been patient, stern when necessary -I can be a difficult patient- and loving. You can believe, after all she's done, my wife will be having one hell of a night on the town when her now two legged man -read between the lines- will be at full strength.

Not to mention, this has been a very humbling experience for me. I recall one of the guys I respect highly in pro wrestling Paul Lévesque aka Triple H tore his quad muscle, and after his surgery and the painful recovery period which followed, he came back even better.

So while this is an inconvenience, I have AFLAC insurance to help ease my pain, a supportive family as well as the knowledge that while my physical therapy might be painful, it strengthen my will power, steel my heart and probably get me in the best shape of my life.

Hell I even have a workout playlist saved on my phone. Like SpongeBob, I'm ready.

As a person who suffers from depression, I have to accept there are no accidents, and that I must be like water and flow forward onto something greater.

However, I can still here the raspy, distinctive style of the late great Red Foxx speaking to me as if I were his TV son Lamont...

"You big dummy!"